CONVERSATIONS WITH A MUGU

Girl: hello! Is this chuks ?
Boy: yes I am chuks by name, who am I on to
Girl: this is amanda
Boy: (trying to remember) amanda! Amanda! Amanda!
Girl: amanda! U used to call me..we met at uche's wedding last year
Boy: oh oh oh amaaaanda! I am so surprised and shocked... U have never called me before
Girl: So r u now complaining should I drop?
Boy:No no I was just saying o..
Girl: How are u?
Boy: I am fine, I am really excited n stil shocked dt u r calling..
Girl:Yeah no problem..u popped into my head n I wntd to greet u
Boy: d last time I called u..dey told me u had died..that I shd stop calling uu if I didnt want to die too.
Girl: dey did? Who would hv said such a thing..God forbid
Boy: that's what dey told me o.thank God its a lie..i wonder y someone would joke about death
Girl:*coughs* I wonder too o
Boy: well we thank God sha..so hw r tins..hw r u preparing for tmrw
Girl: tmrw? What is happening tmrw
Boy:Tmrw is vals na!
Girl: Oh wow I hd totally forgotten...dey still do that?
Boy: what!
Girl: Its just another day to me jare
Boy: Common what do u mean? Do u mean u hv no plans..
Girl:U can ‎c I even forget twas valentines day
Boy: Soo
Girl: Soo what?
Boy:Soo ur boyfriend is nt takin u out
Girl: Did I tell u I had a bf?
Boy:But bck then u always used to tell me to stop calling u cs ur bf said he would iron my balls...

Girl: erm..yeah yeah..ehn oh we broke up now...
Boy:Oh really y? When?
Girl: what's up with the interrogation?
Boy:No, no am just wondering y anyone wd break up wt someone like uu
Girl: ask him o
Boy:So no plans tomorrow?
Girl:Nah no plans I'll just be free at home by myself, doing nothing..nepa will take light sef..just bored...
Boy: What if I...
Girl:What if what?
Boy:No, never mind...u'll say I am too forward...
Girl:No no say what's on ur mind
Boy:Nah never mind...sorry
Girl:(getting impatient n angry)No pls tell me
Boy:I dnt knw why I brought it up, its nothing..
Girl:No I insist..what if what
Boy:Nah
Girl:(Shouts) SAY IT!!!
Boy:(Scared and startled) sorry I was just wondering what if I could take u out tmrw..that's all
Girl: will I even be chanced..I'll think about it sha
Boy: well then maybe some other time
Girl: did i say i was not interested?
Boy: But ....
Girl:Err..well u knw I dnt really care about ds vals tin bt take me where first
Boy: Dinner at whitehouse
Girl: I'll definitely b busy
Boy:Or or...if u dnt lik dt..we cud go to this westown hotel...very lovely place for dinner...
Girl:Ehen hotel..well well if u insist sha..since u r begging
Boy: But I didn't...
Girl: (cuts him short)Since no one else will go with u and I am d only one who will pity u and even consider
Boy: But...I hvnt asked ne...
Girl: Okay pick me up at 5pm at my house
Boy: Ah ur house...hope those ur dogs u use to warn me about will b in deir cages oo
Girl: What dogs?
Boy:U know? when i used to 'call' u, used to tell me that u hd 6 pitbulls that roam ur compound and tear on sight back then
Girl:ooooh..yes.my dogs..don't worry when u come just call I'll meet u outside..
Boy:How about u take a cab to the hotel and I'll wait for u dere..it will make things easier for me.I'll pay for ur cab
Girl: Ehn well okay... What time?
Boy: 7pm I'll text the address to u
Girl: Well okay sha...I might change still my mind later n not go sha..dnt think am all dose girls dt get carried away by stuff lik dis
Boy: No...I don't...this is d longest we hv ever spoken though..usually weneva I call..u usually drop after I say my name..but now u r even d one calling me...wow!!!

Girl: All those times r in d past now..
Boy: Yes dey are
Girl: So 8pm tomorrow right
Boy: Yes 8pm..pls come looking hot...
Girl: *hiss* when don't I look hot...
Boy: Takare
Girl: Bye

Click...cuts call..
Boy: mugu oshi, U go wait tire..dinner ko supper ni... *mimicks her voice* ‘i’ll pity u and consider’.....dosgbe!

Girl: just wasting my credit ...at least I won't roast for vals..after vals I'll delete the mugu’s number